The Father We All Need

Healed Men + Healthier Families = A Better World.

Photo by Michael Pfleger for the May 1973 issue of National Geographic, for an article about the bicycle boom

Hi there,

A few programming notes before we start:

I’m thrilled to announce our next Guest Speaker at The Matriark Salon & Pop Up Season Salon Series on MONDAY JUNE 16th in East Hampton: Suzanne Tick, a celebrated textile artist and design innovator whose life’s work bridges ancient weaving techniques with cutting-edge technology. A fourth-generation recycler, she transforms industrial cast-offs and found materials, like Mylar balloons from Fire Island beaches, into deeply personal woven sculptures that reflect both political and environmental shifts. From summers spent in her father’s scrap yard to founding Suzanne Tick Inc. and leading design for Luum and Skyline Design, her journey is one of constant reinvention. Her work, shown at MoMA, Cooper Hewitt, and Art Basel, explores the tension between delicacy and strength, spirituality and sustainability, always rooted in the belief that transformation of self and material is where true innovation lies. Invitations are going out today to our Founding Members and Paid subscribers first, hope to see you then!

📽️ The video from our The Matriark Salon & Pop Up Season Salon with Jessie Freschl is now available for Paid Subscribers, just head to The Matriark Salon’s page and scroll down.

I hosted The Matriark Salon yesterday with Maxine Friedman and the Founders of Wave Social Wellness, and it was so informative, helpful an fun. It felt so great to get so many smart women in one place and exchange vital information about our health 🙏 We will post some highlights on The Matriark Salon page soon, and will email all our guests who attended with the incredible resources that Dr. Anita Sadaty, Katie Fogarty and Lisa Roberts shared with us last night. Thank you to all who came!

Manhood, Mentorship, and a few Meaningful Gifts

For a while now I’ve been mulling over the state of boys and men. And as I started thinking about Father’s Day, I kept asking myself what makes a real father figure in 2025, and frankly how badly the world needs more of them.

Scott Galloway often mentions research that shows when boys lose access to male role models, they become less likely to go to college, more prone to violence and self-harm, and more likely to be incarcerated. He talks about how millions of boys are growing up with no consistent male presence, and how much they need coaches, mentors, a kind uncle, a good neighbor, and lifelines who can help them see their potential. And yet, men often don’t mentor boys in fear of getting in trouble, thanks in part to high-profile abuse scandals, which (rightly so) made society suspicious of men, and deterred well-intentioned men to step up. So boys don’t get the mentors they deserve, and a whole generation is quietly slipping through the cracks.

I once heard Galloway’s describe modern masculinity and it’s worth quoting:

“You’re in shape. You take care of yourself. You become economically viable. Then you take care of the people you love—your family, your coworkers, your community. And then you start planting trees whose shade you’ll never sit under, like mentoring boys”.

~ Scott Galloway

In other words: show up. Be useful. Leave something behind.

We need more men who mentor, who raise kids (biological or not), who model for boys what real strength looks like. When we raise emotionally healthy boys, we get emotionally available partners, collaborative co-parents, and men who aren’t ashamed to nurture, protect, or love.

We also lighten the load on women, who are still doing the vast majority of the emotional, logistical, and mental labor of raising kids, and we build a more equitable world.

As women, 2 things can be true: we can hold men accountable (I wrote a pice about this here), AND help change our culture by supporting men who are doing this work. So many women criticize men for discussing this as it’s a zero sum game (just read the comments on Galloway’s feed) or if this is the oppression olympics, or that he is criticizing single mothers (he was raised by one, and often shares how he benefitted from male models in addition to having an incredible mother). I strongly believe that this is not a threat to feminism, it’s in fact part of it.

So this Father’s Day let’s celebrate the dads who do more than “babysit,” the men who show up for kids that aren’t theirs, the teachers, coaches, neighbors, uncles, mentors, and bonus dads. The ones planting those damn trees with no expectation to sit under them. 🌳

And yes, even though I’m waxing poetic about men, masculinity and legacy… I couldn’t help myself. I also went shopping 😊. So I rounded up a few Father’s Day gift ideas too (scroll down to check it out), and while they may say they want “nothing,” I refuse to believe that the father figure in your life wouldn’t love something thoughtful, beautifully made, or a totally unforgettable experience with you or your kids. I promise that there are no socks, ties, or grills in sight.

Sending love,

Patricia