Wealth, Wellbeing & Meghan, Duchess of Sussex

The Problem With Rich Women

Hi there,

Let me start by saying this: I am not trying to portray wealthy women as victims of our culture. I am well aware of the enormous economic disparities in the world, and being rich is not the worst problem a person can have.

But as someone who believes more money in women’s hands benefits all of us, I want to address a very specific cultural issue:

If we truly want women to achieve economic freedom and generational wealth, we need to stop punishing them for having money, especially when they enjoy it.

Meghan, Duchess of Sussex: The Poster Girl for Wealthy Women People Love to Hate

I’ve followed Meghan since her engagement to Prince Harry. Not as a royal expert, but as a woman of color who understands how the system can work against us. I was sincerely hoping her marriage would usher in a new dynamic era in a very dusty institution and inspire the world to be more open, but unfortunately it wasn’t meant to be.

And while there are many reasons people have strong opinions about Meghan due to race, class, her marriage, her choices, and now her new show, today, I want to talk about why people love to hate wealthy women, Meghan being one of the most famous of them all.

Let’s be honest here: the world has a problem with powerful women.
Especially wealthy women of color who don’t apologize for it.

So, society finds ways to question their status:

• If they are wildly successful, they must be terrible mothers.

• If they earn too much, they must be greedy and ruthless. Worse, they must have slept their way to the top.

• If they spend on luxury and a beautiful life, they must be vain and materialistic.

• If they marry into wealth, they must be gold diggers.

And if they dare to be beautiful, smart, wealthy, and live with ease, we will pick them apart and punish them with relentless criticism and judgment until they tone things down and become more “relatable”.

As always, double the punishment if you happen to be a woman of color.

The Feminist Asterisk: Support Women… But Not Those Women

The sad part is that Meghan’s (and many wealthy women’s) loudest critics aren’t men. They’re other women.

Women who claim to support women, but only the right kind of woman. I read so many articles written by women about Meghan’ and her new show:

• They cringe at something she says about her last name.

• They accuse her of showing off for wearing a Cartier gold watch, a diamond ring, and designer clothes.

• They criticize her choice of filming in a neighbor’s rented house and not in her own 30-million-dollar mansion.

With everything happening in the world where our daughters have fewer rights than our mothers, this is what we’re spending energy on? A harmless show about home and comfort? It’s petty and embarrassing.

Just admit you don’t like that she’s rich, has nice things and seems to be enjoying life.

Why Do Wealthy Women Have to Perform Modesty?

Unlike wealthy men, wealthy women are expected to make accommodations for the comfort of others. They must appear modest, stay relatable, overthink what they wear and, most importantly, they have to “spend their money wisely” by becoming philanthropists.

I’m not saying wealthy women (or anyone) shouldn’t give back, or that it’s OK to be reckless. But if a wealthy woman like Meghan, who isn’t harming anyone and it’s just releasing a TV show making cakes and pasta sparks so much criticism, can you imagine the backlash if Mackenzie Scott decided to spend her fortune building rockets and sending herself and her friends to space?

The truth is, need more wealthy women living unapologetically, not fewer. Women don’t owe anyone modesty, not even Meghan.

Live in Joy. No Explanations Needed.

To Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, and every woman who feels their wealth, comfort and well-being have to be explained or justified:

Live your life.
Make your home beautiful.
Tend to your bees.
Throw the dinner parties.
Wear the Loro Piana and Jenni Kayne sweaters.
Make the rainbow fruit salad.
Stretch out on your Montecito terrace, soak in the sun, and revel in the life you have.

Live in joy as poetic justice, and let other women and girls see what it looks like (with or without Netflix) when a woman claims wealth, beauty, comfort, love, friendship, and abundance, without apology.

And if you are a woman of color:

Double the recipe. Rinse and repeat.

Sending lots of love (to all women),

Patricia