Dresses Worth Leaving the House For (Even When You’re Home by 9)

Plus my take on the three types of party invites we all get

Mia Farrow and Frank Sinatra arrive at Truman Capote’s Black and White Ball in 1966. Photo: Elliott Erwitt

Hi there,

Parties don’t hold the same allure they once did. We’re drinking less (thank goodness), taking better care of ourselves, and fiercely protecting our sleep. Club culture is essentially dead, and most of us are no longer Studio 54 types. We’re day beings now, which makes throwing a proper party after 6 pm a tall order.

And yet, this time of year, the pressure intensifies with all the holiday festivities. When the invitations roll in, it’s a mixed bag of 3 types of parties: have to go, can’t wait to attend, or immediately no (which are very rare for me, but a party after 10pm at a club is definitely one of them!).

Ideally (to me, at least), a party I can’t wait to attend has the right mix of lovely people who add fun, depth, wit, and just enough drama to make you forget to check your phone. Bonus if they have drinks that don’t run out, healthy food that’s actually tasty, and music that understands the assignment, but all forgiven if the guests more than make up for any lackluster food-and-beverage details.

Reality, however, often looks like this: it’s cold and dark at 4:30pm, and although it would normally take a miracle to get us out the door after sunset (let alone to stay out past 9 pm), we begrudgingly get ready and finally leave the house. To your husband’s company holiday party, where an employee treated the open bar as a personal challenge before choosing you to confess all her sins. To the Secret Santa party with your neighbors, who have clearly mastered the art of re-gifting, and some you wish lived farther away. To your boss’s impeccable house, styled with expensive white furniture, making you skip the red wine and sit through your co-workers bad jokes sober.

We’d do anything to skip these parties. But these fall squarely under the “have to go” category, so we do it because we’re supportive and emotionally generous people. Or because our livelihood sort of depends on it. We show up. We smile. We do the thing.

All this emotional labor is draining, so we may as well dress nicely and make it fabulous. Clothes that help us feel confident and ourselves, even when we’d rather be elsewhere, can change the experience. The sparkle doesn’t hurt, and the host will appreciate the effort.

So, today I’m sharing my favorite 11 dresses that look glamorous but never fussy: dresses you can walk, sit, dance in, and wear more than once without regret.

Dresses that carry you through awkward conversations (and out the door by 9) with equal ease.

So go, support, laugh, learn and hydrate.
Hold your boundaries and leave when you’re ready, which for me, it’s sooner rather than later. Even when I can’t wait to attend.

Enjoy the edit and party on! Sending love,

Patricia