* If you prefer audio, you can listen to this newsletter on Substack. Just find the play button on the top right corner.

Hi there,

If you’ve been anywhere near the internet this week, you’ve heard about Emma Grede’s book “Start With Yourself”, and the firestorm around her comments about working from home and spending three hours a day with her children. I have thoughts about that, and I may share them one day, but I didn’t want to wait another minute to talk about what it’s the most universal and urgent part of her book: the chapter on money.

Buried inside what is technically a business book is the most urgent chapter every woman needs to read. Stay-at-home mom, entrepreneurs, women in corporate careers, all of the above, or none of the above — the way Emma has learned to think about money, how she navigates the world, and her energy and passion for taking responsibility for her own fate are stunning lessons every single one of us can benefit from.

I honestly wasn’t expecting to be so taken by her. Of course I knew she is smart and charismatic, but I didn’t expect to appreciate this woman so much for her candor and mental strength. This woman is a force. I listened to the audiobook, and Emma speaks the way she apparently lives: with urgency, without apology, and without the polite hedging most of us have been trained to perform around money.

This is not the first time I’ve raised my voice about this. Some of you have been here long enough to remember when I recorded a podcast called WEALTHY specifically to talk to women about what they do and how they do it — and I ended every single conversation with the same question: Did you talk about money growing up? The answers were almost always the same. No.

Money is vital for everyone, and understanding our relationship with it — and actively working to change it — cannot wait. Whether you like Emma or not, or if you support her businesses or not, is not the point. Go buy the book, if only to read this part. It’s Track 14 on the audiobook on Spotify. 😊 My hardcopy in in the mail, and I’ll like to keep it on my desk. Now here are my biggest takeaways from what Emma wrote.

1. The Silence Is Costing Us

I loved how Emma explains this issue of silence because it’s true everywhere.

Despite running her own podcast and interviewing some of the most powerful women in business, she can’t get her female guests to speak candidly about capital raises, compensation, or deal structures — even off the mic.

Then she interviews Michael Rubin (founder of Fanatics, a $30 billion business), and when she asks him every money question, he answers them all, with zero shame or anxiety.

Often times women feel that talking about money is not elegant. Emma’s response is pure gold: “When we feel like it’s inelegant to talk about money, money has a way of elegantly passing us by.”

Elegance is buying your first house. Elegance is traveling on your own dime. Elegance is not having to ask anyone for permission to make a decision about your own life.

2. Money Is Not the Enemy

Emma is direct about something many women I know still resist hearing: money is neutral, and it’s foundational. Money buys space, ease, convenience, support, security, and access to opportunity. You can be a deeply ethical person and earn exceptionally well. You can care about the world and insist on being paid what you are worth. You can create culturally meaningful work and be compensated generously for it. These are not competing values, and liking money doesn’t make you a bad person.

3. Find Your Money Story + Stop Avoiding Money

I think most women already know this. Many of us arrive at adulthood carrying a distorted relationship with money, shaped by how our families talked about it (or didn’t). What did money mean in your house growing up? Was it discussed openly or hidden? Was it a source of conflict, of anxiety, of silence? Because whatever the answer is, it’s still shaping your decisions today.

Emma traces her own financial clarity back to her mother, who sat at the kitchen table every month, wrote the checks, balanced the accounts, and treated the bills as a basic reality of life, not a source of shame or something to avoid. She contrasts this with daughters of other single mothers whose mothers would stuff bills in the couch cushions or throw them away unopened because they couldn’t bring themselves to look. She calls for exposure therapy: think about money constantly, look at it directly, and stop turning away. I think that’s a great idea.

4. Scarcity Is a Magic Trick

One of Emma’s most powerful arguments is that scarcity — the feeling that there is only so much to go around, that if she gets more you get less — is largely engineered. It’s a made up story that disproportionately traps women.

She hears male colleagues and bankers openly sharing deal structures, and pay packages. They see other men succeeding and think: if him, why not me?

And women are fed a constant message that it’s winner-take-all. That there is one seat at the table, one shot, one window. And because we have so few visible models of success, we believe it.

Get out of your scarcity mindset and stop accepting the terms of a game designed to keep you distracted from your own value.

5. Stop Being The Last Person You Advocate For

Every time HR comes to Emma needing sign-off to exceed a salary band, it’s always because a man negotiated his way up to her. The women, with rare exceptions, accepted what they were offered.

Her negotiation framework is blunt and I love her for it: assume you are being paid less than you are worth and ask for more. Don’t over-explain and state the ask, never take the first offer, and most urgently: strip the language of pre-emptive defeat from your communications. I am guilty as anyone in doing this: No worries if this doesn’t work. This is of course negotiable. Sorry to bother you. Every time you write those words you are negotiating against yourself before the other person has said a word. Practice saying what you mean without the cushion. It gets easier, but only if you practice.

6. What Emma Is Asking You to Do — And I Co-Sign It!

Emma ends her chapter section with a direct call to action, and I want to add my name to every word of it.

Talk about money — openly, with your friends, your colleagues, your daughters. Don’t let anyone make you feel that caring about your financial security makes you less refined, less spiritual, less good.

Learn your own finances. Understand your mortgage rate, your retirement accounts, your investment vehicles. Don’t outsource your financial literacy to a partner, a parent, or an advisor without insisting on understanding every decision being made on your behalf. What Emma said about her husband is a mic crop in itself: She said she trusts her husband completely because knowing where you stand takes the stress of dependence out of the equation entirely. This is an incredible way to see financial independence inside of a relationship.

Find out what your work is worth in the market, and then share that information with other women, with full details intact. This is one of the most direct, immediate things we can do for each other. Men do this constantly. We can too.

Make introductions to your accountants, bankers, and lawyers. These networks are currency, so share them often.

Know your value. State it without apology.

Make a financial plan. Now.

Sending love,

Patricia

Hi there,

I’m so excited to share this invitation with you! Paid Subscribers can find their discount code inside this newsletter.

Click HERE to purchase, the event will be in the Hamptons, and seats are VERY limited! Thank you Alison Graham and our Sponsor BARNES International Realty - New York for making this event even more special.

The Matriark Salon x Maxine Ventures present
MINT: An Investment Salon Series Curated by Women, for Women

Read more

“Dollar Sign” by Andy Warhol

Hi there,

Over the past six months, I’ve had countless conversations with women about money. Friends, colleagues, founders, mothers, financial professionals, and this is what I heard:

“I never talked about money growing up.”
”I don’t feel like I truly “own” my financial life.”
”I want to feel more confident making financial decisions, but I don’t know where to start.”

And when I bring up cryptocurrency, the reaction is almost universal:

“I’m intimidated by it.”
“I have no understanding of how it works, so it feels too risky.”
“I don’t know the best place to learn about this stuff, so I don’t touch it”

Sometimes there was an eye roll here and there, and when I asked why they felt that way about crypto, and some said “crypto is for bros”.

I get it. Traditional finance already feels like a language we were never properly taught, so when we add crypto to the mix (with the bad rep it garnered), the gap only widens. But this lagging behind costs women access, literacy, agency, and of course, access to wealth.

Adding to the challenge, too many of us still defer to partners or advisors without full visibility, and where there is divorce, widowhood, or financial upheaval, women’s lives can be radically shifted. Studies show women’s incomes drop nearly 50% post-divorce, and too many widows find themselves learning finance during the most stressful time in their lives.

This is why my friend Maxine Friedman and I decided to launch MINT, and YOU ARE INVITED!

SAVE THE DATE

The Matriark Salon x Maxine Ventures present
MINT: An Investment Salon Series Curated by Women, for Women

Join us for the first in a multi-part series designed to de-mystify crypto currency, and inspire women’s financial growth and freedom through intimate, educational, and community-focused conversations.

Our salons welcome all women interested in building financial fluency and confidence, no matter your current knowledge or experience level.

This inaugural session will feature leading experts in cryptocurrency and Web3 MAGGIE LOVE, Founder of SheFi, and SUSIE BATT, Ecosystem Growth Specialist, Covariance and SheFi Advisor, offering an accessible introduction to the space, practical insights on investing in alternative assets, and an open forum for questions and discussion.

Save the Date: November 6th, 6PM
Location: In the Hamptons (exact venue to be announced upon RSVP)

Invitations will be sent with ticket information on Thursday October 23. Paid Subscribers will receive a discount code. 😉 Keep an eye out for our email invite next Thursday with more information!

Here are more reasons why Maxine and I wanted to do this:

The Gender Gap in Investing

💰 Confidence (not competence) is the problem
Only 28% of women report feeling “very comfortable” making investment decisions versus 39% of men.

💰 The system is imbalanced
The average 401(k) balance for men sits near $89K, while for women it’s $59K — a nearly 50% gap. Career breaks, caregiving duties, and pay inequality add to the compounding disadvantage.

The Gender Gap in Crypto & Web3

Because crypto sits at the crossroads of finance + tech, the divide only widens.

💰 Ownership is male-dominated
About 69% of crypto owners identify as male; women represent roughly one-quarter of the investor base.

💰 Education is the missing link
More than 80% of women say that their lack of understanding is the main reason they haven’t invested in crypto.

💰 Bias still exists
Around 60% of women report facing discrimination in crypto communities — and women hold just 6% of CEO roles in crypto companies.

So let’s get together and learn about money, take control of our finances, and make decisions that feel right for ourselves, our families and our communities.

I hope to see you at our MINT gatherings!! Sending love,

Patricia

Hi there,

*Before we start - I just added a few things to my Japan Trip Diary, and a new podcast is out - check it out!

Even though most women still aren’t the ones making this kind of money—at least not yet—we’re finally getting a shot at something we’ve been denied for centuries: a chance to have real financial impact on the world.

Something incredible is happening: women are about to inherit over $40 trillion. It’s part of the largest wealth transfer in history. Already, 70% of intergenerational wealth will end up in women’s hands. Millennial women alone are projected to control $30 trillion by 2030.

As wealth changes hands, so does power and, honestly, it’s about freaking time.

Through history, women’s financial influence has been a series of 2 steps forward, 1 step back. Josie Cox’s new book (and our conversation on the podcast out today) dives into this messy timeline, and she shares the stories of some of the women who changed everything and were then conveniently forgotten.

I learned about Katharine Dexter McCormick. I never heard of her until I read Josie’s book. She used the vast majority of her wealth to fund the development of the birth-control pill and reshaped the history of women’s health. She also smuggled about 1,000 diaphragms from Europe, sewing them in her coat lining every time she visited. She then donated to one of Margaret Sanger’s women’s clinic. How great is that?

And how about Dr. Pauli Murray? Legal genius, civil rights architect, mentor to both Eleanor Roosevelt and Ruth Bader Ginsburg (!!!). Her work shaped the very language of gender equality. How is she not a household name?

The list goes on, and Josie and I commiserate and talk about them and much more (like the glass cliff), take a listen when you can:

🎧 Available now on Apple, Spotify, and Youtube
💌 Full audio, video and + weekly episodes for Paid Subscribers in our Podcast page

Through all women’s economic trials and tribulations, one thing is certain:

Women contribute to the world differently (and arguably, better).

Women are more likely to reinvest in their families, in their communities, in health and education. Financially secure women raise healthier, more prepared kids. And the feminine approach to power—collaborative, future-focused, community-minded—is exactly what the world is starving for.

And when it comes to giving back (and lifting all boats with the rising tide), 93% of high-net-worth women donate to charity, compared to 87% of men. They’re more likely to support causes that benefit women and girls. Women-led households don’t just give more intentionally; they give more often and with more consistency.

And it’s not just the top 1%. Across the board, women show up. They give more frequently. And their giving doesn’t shrink during a crisis, actually it often increases.

Globally, women make up roughly 73% of all charitable donors.

You’ve heard me say this before, but it’s worth repeating: MacKenzie Scott has donated over $17 billion since 2019. Melinda French Gates recently launched a $12.5 billion fund for gender equity. These women aren’t just giving. They’re changing the rules entirely.

Yes, men still dominate the mega-gift headlines, but only because they still dominate the wealth. That’s changing. Now imagine what the 40 trillion wealth transfer will do.

And as women gain more financial control, we’re going to see a different kind of generosity: more targeted, more consistent, more transformative.

So fight to get and keep your financial power. Not just to protect yourself, but to make a dent. Learn the names of the women who helped us get here, and tell their stories louder. Follow the money. Support women-led funds, founders, and initiatives.

We need to make women rich. For peace. For progress. For all of us.

Sending love ❤️

Patricia

Read more

Next Monday, 6/16: The Matriark Salon & Pop Up Season Salon Series will be hosting the incredible artist Suzanne Tick in EAST HAMPTON. If you’d like to attend, please contact us at rsvp@matriark.com. Invitation details is HERE, I hope to see you there!!

Then I’m off to Japan for about six weeks on a long-awaited family trip. It’s something we’ve been dreaming about for a while, and I’m excited (and slightly stressed out) to bring our kids along for the adventure. It’ll be hot—really hot—but I know it’ll be worth it.

(Remember that newsletter about dresses that can withstand the heat? Now you know why I wrote it. Read it here.)

While I’m away, our in-person salons will pause until August (we’ll have some exciting news about that in July), but I’ll be keeping a Japan Trip Diary on the website. I’ll be posting almost daily, sharing everything from shopping finds (the shopping is insane) to food, art, and wellness discoveries.

If you’re curious, you don’t have to wait for Thursdays when we send this newsletter: just check in anytime after June 20th here: matriark.com/s/japan-trip-diary. I will send little reminders about this link in our weekly newsletter as well.

Now, onto something I’m thrilled to share…

I’m obsessed with podcasts. I listen while walking, cooking, commuting, and I’m so happy to let you know that WEALTHY: The Matriark Podcast launches in JUNE 26!

Like everything we do at Matriark, I didn’t want this podcast to reduce things to sound bites. I don’t like to dumb things down. These are real conversations about health, relationships, creativity, culture, money, style, and more. We go deep and, no matter the topic, every episode is crafted through 1 goal: to create more wealth in the lives of women through conversations with people I would have in my “kitchen cabinet”, as Michelle Obama refers to all of her closest friends and advisors.

Not just financial wealth, but emotional, physical, cultural, and communal wealth, too.

And at the end of ALL episodes, I ask every guest questions about MONEY. I want to normalize talking about it because women still don’t talk about money enough. I ask questions like: Did you talk about money growing up? If so, what did you learn? If not, how did this affect you as an adult? What shaped your financial mindset? The truth: most of us were never taught anything about money, and that needs to change. I’ve had a lot of very insightful answers so far!

Here’s how it’ll work:
– 30 minute episodes will be free on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube (we will post links whn we launch)
– Full Hour episodes will live on our Substack page, available to paid subscribers only.
– First guest is announced next week! Stay tuned and follow us at @matriarkofficial for clips and announcements.

I truly hope your lives will be richer after you hear (or watch) what our guests are thinking, feeling and doing, and I can’t wait to share these conversations with you. I recorded a video message for you below if you’d like to watch.

In the meantime, I hope you ar having an amazing week, and I wish you all who celebrate this weekend a beautiful Father’s Day!

Sending love,
Patricia

Hi there,

Before we get into today’s newsletter, I’m thrilled to share this:

Brad Ford, founder of Field + Supply, will be joining me and Susan Sandler (of Pop Up Season) for our very first Matriark Salon on Friday, April 25. We’ll gather for a casual and soulful conversation about creativity, entrepreneurship, and craft.

In a world reeling with AI and digital noise, Brad is a refreshing presence: someone building beautiful things IRL and supporting small businesses, craftspeople, and creatives. He’s been in the creative industry his entire career, as both an interior designer and entrepreneur, and I can’t wait to dive into a real conversation with him and Susan.

🎟️ Invites go out this Friday to Founding Members and Paid Subscribers first. Once they RSVP, we’ll open remaining seats to our Free Subscribers.
📍 The event is in East Hampton, and address will be provided upon RSVP.
✍️ Seating is VERY limited.

We’ve got more salons coming up on May 9 and May 23, so stay tuned for more announcements next week.

Want to guarantee your spot at our beautiful gatherings? Upgrade to paid subscription and join us!

Now on to our regular programming!

“Nothing changes the gender equation more significantly than women's economic freedom”

~ Gloria Steinem

(It doesn’t matter if you’re a stay-at-home mom or a CEO. If you’re a woman, consider this your friendly wake-up call and a sign to take charge of your finances!)

It’s no surprise to me that women are starved for real talk about money: what we’re earning, saving, spending, investing, protecting. When I sent out my last newsletter on women & money, the response was immediate. My inbox blew up. Then a friend and I hosted a small gathering with Financial Advisor Gabriella Krystina Ciamillo, and let me tell you: we could have been there for another 3 hours. The relief in the room was palpable. We finally had a space to say what we don’t usually get to say and ask the questions we’re afraid might sound dumb (they’re not).

The truth is, in this economy, tariffs rising, and a recession looming, I want to improve my financial skills, and get the clarity and confidence to make smart choices for myself and my family. And Gabriella gets it. That’s why I invited her to share some of her knowledge with us, just in time for Financial Literacy Month.

If you’re curious or feeling overwhelmed (or both), she’s available for a Zoom, in-person meetings or a call. You don’t need to be wealthy to reach out, and I promise I don’t make any money from her services to you.

Gabriella is sharp, grounded and not condescending. She meets you where you are, with zero judgement. And good news: 💰MATRIARK PAID SUBSCRIBERS GET A FREE CONSULTATION (Gift Code is inside this newsletter). Thank you, Gabriella! 💰

From protecting yourself in a relationship to investing without fear, here’s what she wants every woman to know to feel more confident, independent, and secure with money.

Read more

Hi there,

Have you ever noticed that the things we need most to survive—like food and money—are the very things we develop the most complicated relationships with? Money isn’t just money. It’s access. It’s opportunity. It’s the quiet advantage shaping who gets to live where, pursue what careers, and take what risks.

A recent New York Magazine article exposed a not-so-secret truth: a lot of New Yorkers are quietly bankrolled by their parents. The Boomer wealth transfer is happening in real time, reshaping industries, cities, and entire lifestyles. But I would argue that this isn’t new or just a New York thing—it’s everywhere because this is not really about cost of living. It’s about the C word: CLASS.

There, I said it. In the U.S., we cling to the idea that anyone can make it if they just hustle hard enough, but the American Dream is way more complex than it seems.

Acknowledging privilege—whether it’s a parent paying your rent or a financial cushion that lets you take career risks—isn’t about feeling guilty or self-flagellation, though many make it that way. It’s about being earnest. Owning your financial reality—without apologies—helps paint a clearer picture of your life, separate from what your parents did or didn’t provide. Just like discussing financial struggles shouldn’t make you a victim or a failure. Not everyone starts from the same place. That’s not whining, that’s reality and it simply highlights that the system isn’t built the same for everyone. And when we are willing to talk about that, we may open the door for others to understand us, give us access, and resources (not handouts). But instead, we bury our heads in the sand refusing to admit we are nepo babies enjoying advantages others do not or point fingers at people more privileged than us as if they were responsible for all our problems. I believe the truth is somewhere in between. But how would we know for sure if we don’t openly talk about class or money?

And in this void, the financial silence—especially among women—is deafening. Many of us weren’t raised to talk about money, let alone manage it. Financial literacy wasn’t a given, and if you didn’t grow up with wealth—or access to those who understood it or talked about it—navigating savings, retirement, or investments is like speaking in a different language. And the truth is: the quieter we are, the more financially disempowered we become.

Lately, I’ve been trying to wrap my head around what it takes to fund a “retirement”, and it’s wild how little my friends and I talk about it. To me, retirement isn’t just about quitting work when you get old —it’s about sustaining a fulfilling, engaged life. How do we balance saving, aging, working, healthcare, college tuition, and caring for kids and aging parents? How much is too much sacrifice? Should we leave everything for our children, or should we live it up and they will have to figure things out? If we have inheritance, how do we not blow it? If we don’t, how do we properly prepare for old age without being a total burden on our children and family members?

These are the conversations I want to have—not just behind closed doors with financial advisors, but out loud, with the people in my life. Money talk doesn’t have to be awkward. The more we share, the more we know. The more we know, the more we can actually do something about it.

So let’s break the silence. Do you talk about money—with friends, family, colleagues? Or do you avoid it? What’s holding you back? What financial lesson did you learn the hard way?

I want to hear from you. Who’s having the real conversations about money? Who should I interview about it? Hit reply or comment on my post to let me know. Sending love,

Patricia

PS: here is a inspiration board for my life in “retirement”. Working on it… ❤️