photo from Vogue France

Hi there,

This will be a quick one. I read several articles talking about how older women are now showing up on catwalks - see NYTimes, and most recently, French Vogue. Fashion loves to romanticize things, but here is my take:

Older women have always been the engine behind fashion. We have more money, and that’s as simple as that. The fashion industry always knew that.

It’s quite infuriating but it’s the truth. Ageism is alive and well, and the industry didn’t all of the sudden started to have a conscience. Brands are struggling, prices skyrocketed, and they now need to appeal to their base and lure them into buying more.

Hopefully older women will continue to be more visible, in fashion and everywhere else, we will see.

I share this today to make a point about our power as consumers: Gen X + Older Millenials are 63% of personal luxury goods market share. We can support brands that embrace diversity of all kinds, and in this case, women of all ages.

Using our dollars to move things forward while buying beautiful things is… a beautiful thing.

Sending love,

Patricia

Hi there,

Back in March I announced to our paid subscribers that I was removing the paywall for the time being, mostly because the paid subscription promised access to in-person salons and curated experiences, which I wouldn’t have much time to do after my surgery in January and ongoing family commitments. Plus, I’ve been taking care of my advisory clients, who have grown in numbers over the last 6 moths.

I thought I’d give you a quick update. Since then, I’ve added a few special projects that I’m diligently working on. I am launching an exciting Wellness and Beauty Conference in Brazil on June 23rd, and after that I will be in the Hamptons enjoying my family and working on those projects, which I hope to share more about them soon.

From now on you may or may not hear from me on a weekly basis, but I promise to send a newsletter whenever I can, and always on Thursdays. Many of them will be quick, others will be profiles of interesting people I’m connecting with that I think are worth sharing with you.

In today’s newsletter, I’m going to share the tote bags that 'I’ve been shopping for. I know we all got plenty of canvas totes from when we shop at stores, but I’m talking about real totes. I seem to have a fetish for them, and though I may not buy them all, I will never have enough of them, ever. I’m constantly loading my car with a hundred things. Today I had a large tote on the passenger seat with my handbag, water bottle and another small mesh tote (a cute gift with purchase from Bergdorf Goodman) filled with snacks for me and my children. And on my way home, I got food and shopping bags, and I regretted not adding another huge bag in my car… My bags need bags, so I will share what I’ve ben looking at.

PS: I’m excited with my advisory work, and I’ve been thrilled to meet one on one with great Founders. If you or someone you know is looking for strategic guidance on retail positioning, merchandising or content strategy, I’m selectively taking on advisory clients. You can book a discovery call HERE. My Linkedin is HERE for additional credentials.

Thanks so much, enjoy!

Patricia

The Garden Tote

Maybe a decade ago I bought a Japanese garden tote at Dover Street market, and a friend of mine made fun of me, asking me if I had some tools I needed to carry. Years later, it became a trend and now everyone has a garden inspired tote, so I feel vindicated 😊 I have a black tote, but I’m going to buy this one in ivory (1).

The Construction Tote in bubble gum looks great too, and I it’s a little larger. And one of my favorites is this customizable tote* (3): you can add snaps, short straps, key clips, extra internal pockets (I wish more totes would come with them!) , suitcase strap, laptop pocket, external pockets crossbody straps, extra handles, monograming and additional color for the bottom - this is the most customization I’ve seen so far. I like their story too.

California Happy

The brand Pacifico Tote Co.* was founded in 2013 by filmmaker Roman Coppola (Sofia Coppola’s older brother) and designer Duffy Culligan after they took a boat trip from Santa Barbara to Catalina, and started asking why the best totes had to be so serious. It’s a good question! The color combinations are pure joy (and so are their T-shirts).

(4) The Ojai in blush, kelly green and yellow (5) The Mammoth in Natural, black and pink (6) The Big Sur in kelly green, and (7) The Catalina in Bottle green, butter and flamingo pink.

The OG and The Cute Spin Off

(8) Can’t beat the L.L.Bean* tote. I have all sizes, and just got the extra large (to hold more bags and snack…), and thinking about getting a mini too. But J Crew’s* version of it (9) is also very cute. It’s also customizable, and it comes in red, and in a smaller size.

Bright Fun Things

A while ago I got a phone case with my initials on it from this company, and I love their customized totes too. I think I’ll get the fun striped tote for my daughter and may get the natural color for me in the medium size, just lik the photos.

New Neutrals

These totes are by my friend Michael Hagen’s company Wyeth*. Easy, neutral but never boring. (12) in brown and natural and (13) and in blue and tan.

British Polish

(14) These are super chic and customizable, and the waterproof lining and zipper make it beach ready.

The Twofer

Who doesn’t love to get 2 for the price of 1? A beautiful reversible tote, these (15) come in the prettiest shade of pink reversing to a chocolate brown.

Always Chic

Phoebe Philo’s optic white bag with an outside pocket (16), J&M Davidson* Leopard Tote (17), and The Row canvas tote in brown and beige (18) are pricey but will never go out of style.

Pink Satin Dreams

This clean, modern yet frothy and feminine tote comes in a rainbow of colors, but this pink is the most irresistible. Who wouldn’t want a pink satin tote?

Honorable Mention

I’ve featured the Alex Mill* customizable totes before, but not in a special tote newsletter, so I will show it again, this time in Gwyneth Paltrow’s arms.

I could go on forever. But this is it for now. Sending love,

Patricia

Hi there,

Welcome to summer… Pool parties, boat days, company retreats, lakeside picnics, and the bathing suit dread. Today I’m going to share with you some astonishing information about how women see themselves, give some tips on how to shop for bathing suits (and not feel crappy about it), and share 7 styles I love for this season.

In 1998, psychologists put women in either a swimsuit or a sweater, gave them a math test, and watched who did better as part of a study curiously titled “That Swimsuit Becomes You.” I mean, every woman could have told them they didn’t need the experiment to know the answer, but science needs receipts, so here we are.

Of course the women in the swimsuit performed measurably worse! Because who in their right mind can concentrate on anything in a bathing suit when all we can think about is how we look? Self-consciousness about the body literally hijacks our brain. When we’re thinking about how we look, we have less mental bandwidth for literally everything else. So the swimsuit didn’t change them, it became them. It consumed their attention so completely that they temporarily lost access to their own competence. Torture!

So according to psychology researchers, the swimsuit is a cognitive event. Even imagining trying on a swimsuit in a dressing room is enough to trigger self-objectification.

And even if we shop online and try them on alone at home, research shows that “the physical presence of observers is clearly not necessary.” We are our toughest audience. Sigh…

Do you remember the last time you were truly unselfconscious in a bathing suit? Maybe you are one of those lucky women who couldn’t care less and, if so, I admire you and also slightly resent you. But if you’d rather stick a pencil in your neck than be seen in a bathing suit, you are not alone. You are, it turns out, statistically very normal. Unfortunately.

80%. Insane. Skipping graduations, birthday parties, vacations, pool invitations, boat days, and opting out of their actual lives because we don’t think our bodies measure up.

Half of all women have looked at an invitation and thought “not if it means a swimsuit”. That is an unacceptable number of summers not fully lived!

A third of us are either gone from the beach, or watching from the shade in our clothes.

And then there’s the shopping problem itself:

The average woman owns 3 swimsuits. She owns 7 pairs of jeans and 17 pairs of shoes.

WHAT’S ACTUALLY HAPPENING

Let’s be honest here. The swimsuit is not just exposing our bodies: it’s also exposing our messed up relationship with your bodies, which has been quietly shaped, since approximately puberty, by an industry that profits from our dissatisfaction.

We hate the dressing room because it forces us to evaluate our bodies the way we imagine others evaluate it — from the outside, as an object to be assessed. This happens with all clothing, but the more revealing the garment is, the higher the scrutiny.

FIVE THINGS THAT ACTUALLY HELP (NOT “LOVE YOURSELF”)

I can’t stand the “love every inch of yourself!” approach. I rather be more practical and rely on research:

1. Go for fit, not size.

The number one confidence killer in a bathing suit is ill fit. A too-small suit doesn’t make you look smaller, it creates bulges that didn’t exist and discomfort that will haunt you all the way to the beach. Size is a number on a tag that no one else will ever see. What people see is how you carry yourself. Buy the size that fits. If you need to go up, go up. Nobody cares. You’ll feel the difference immediately. By the way, this is good advice for all clothing, but it is essential for bathing suits.

Here are some basic things to look for:

Structure and support at the bust: underwire, boning, or thick straps

Ruching or diagonal seaming at the waist: creates shape without compression

Dark solids or vertical prints: work with the body’s natural lines

High-cut legs: lengthen a shorter frame and create proportion

A tie or cinch at the waist: the simplest way to define a silhouette

2. Shop at home. Obviously.

We already know this is the best approach. But you need a method:

3. Shift the question from ‘How do I look?’ to ‘What am I doing, and How do I feel while I am doing it?’

This is the body neutrality move and it is remarkably effective. Redirect your attention to what your body is doing. You’re swimming, you’re jumping waves in the ocean, you’re watching your kid do a cannonball, you’re floating on something inflatable drinking something pink, and you are smiling and feeling amazing. A body doing a thing becomes much less available as an object to critique because you’re too busy using it.

“My kids aren’t going to remember how I looked in a swimsuit. But they will remember the fun we had in the pool.” That’s it.

4. Forget body positivity. Try body neutrality instead.

Body positivity asks you to look in the mirror and love what you see. Body neutrality asks something more achievable: your body is not a project. It doesn’t need to be fixed or celebrated. It carried you here. It will carry you to the pool, and it is sufficient. Research consistently finds this approach more effective at reducing body dissatisfaction than the love-yourself version which, for many women, just adds another thing to feel like they’re failing at.

NOW ON TO THE FUN PART

Here are some gorgeous swimwear to get started. Get inspired by them and have fun shopping!

1. Seersucker gingham - the best summer combo, in a balconette bikini top with underwire support and bottom.

2. A beautiful blue and strategic rushing on a very glamorous strapless piece - AND it’s on sale.

3. Another great combo with leopard and scalloped edges, perfect as a body suit under a fun skirt or a sarong.

4. A striking piece, a collaboration with Burberry, in an iconic crinkled fabric.

5. The original zig zag , in a halter swimsuit and a flattering color combo.

6. A sexy corseted one-piece that comes in many colors (there is a nize zipper detail on the back too!). I just bought this!

7. A great bikini top and bottom by an amazing Brazilian brand I used to sell in my shop in Sag Harbor. They have tons of cover-ups too, so check them out.

JUST GO TO THE PARTY

Nobody is studying you the way you are studying yourself. They are eating chips, arguing about who forgot the sunscreen, refilling their rosé and living their lives. And if they do judge, who cares?

The swimsuit does not have to become you. You are allowed to put it on, walk out the door, and be at the party — present, distracted by conversation and delicious drinks and the actual pleasure of being in water on a hot day, instead of managing your visibility from the sideline.

Go. Take the picture. Get in the water. Your kids will remember.

And if you’re still not feeling it, wear shorts and a tee, throw on a kaftan, do whatever you need to do. But don’t miss the party because of the clothes. Just go.

Sending love and summer courage,

Patricia

Our clothes aren’t just communicating to other people, they’re communicating to us. And we can activate that effect intentionally by assigning conscious meaning to what we wear.

* Pro-tip: if you prefer audio, you can listen to this newsletter on Substack. Just find the play button on the top right corner!

Hi there,

I want to start this newsletter by thanking everyone who read and responded to my previous newsletter about Kristin Cabot. Wow, what a sore subject for women! Some of the comments on my Instagram post are insane, and they just prove how much works still needs to be done. Stay tuned for more deep dives about relationships and friendships, we need to keep talking about how we show up (or don’t) for each other.

This week I want to discuss confidence. I like The Oxford English Dictionary’s definition: a feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities. It puts the origin where it belongs: inside us, not in other people’s reactions. Before confidence is perceived by anyone else, it has to be felt internally by us.

We tend to think of confidence as something we need for the big moments, like the salary negotiation, the difficult conversation, the pitch to a new client.

But I’d argue we need it even more in the small ones, like when we want to raise our hand in a meeting and ask the question everyone else is too afraid to ask. When we need to say no to the thing that doesn’t serve us, even when saying yes would be easier. Or when we decide to try the thing we’ve been thinking about for years — the business, the book, the move — instead of waiting until we feel ‘ready,’ which may never come.

And I believe confidence is passed down, not necessarily genetically, but visually and energetically. Our kids are watching, and when they see us comfortable in our own skin — asking questions, saying no and trying new things — it gives them permission to do the same.

So I did some research, and picked 6 things you can wear (1 of them is invisible), and 1 that you should not wear - small yet fascinating things I learned that you can start doing today.

6 Things To Wear

1. Start with Your Shoulders

This one sounds simple, but it does more than you think. A garment that sits correctly on your shoulders naturally pulls your posture open — chest lifted, spine straight — without you having to think about it. Professor Karen Pine at the University of Hertfordshire found that when women feel stressed or unhappy, they neglect over 90% of their wardrobe and default to baggy, body-hiding clothes. It’s an understandable instinct to shrink, camouflage, and disappear. But the research suggests the opposite helps more: wearing something that fits well, flatters your body, and reminds you of a time you felt good. The shoulders are where this starts. When your jacket fits there, everything else follows.

2. The Texture Secret

This is the one most people don’t think about. The texture of what’s touching your skin all day is sending constant signals to your brain through your somatosensory system — the network that connects touch to emotion. Research in textile psychology shows that soft, smooth fabrics promote relaxation and reduce cortisol, while rough or stiff textures can trigger low-level stress and anxiety that you may not even consciously register. That silk lining, the weight of a well-made wool blazer on your shoulders, the softness of quality cotton against your wrists aren’t luxuries. They’re neurological inputs that either support or quietly undermine your confidence all day long. The next time you reach for something in your closet, close your eyes and touch it first. If it doesn’t feel good in your hand, it won’t feel good on your body. And your brain will know the difference.

3. Enclothed Cognition: Give Your Outfit a Story

Our clothes aren’t just communicating to other people, they’re communicating to us. And you can activate that effect intentionally by assigning conscious meaning to what you put on.

Researchers Hajo Adam and Adam Galinsky coined the term Enclothed cognition in a study that shows that what we wear influences how we think, feel, and act.

Participants who wore a white lab coat described as a “doctor’s coat” showed an increase in focus and attention. But when the identical coat was described as a “painter’s coat,” or when participants didn’t actually wear the coat, there was no cognitive boost. Only when they wore it and believed it carried a specific meaning did their performance change.

So try this: before you leave the house, give what you’re wearing a meaningful story. Wear that blouse because red is your power color. Put on that lucky blazer that you wore when you closed that deal. Wear your grandmother’s pearl necklace, it carries her strength. The science says the boost comes from what you believe about what you’re wearing, not from what anyone else sees.

4. Go Monochrome

Wearing a single color from head to toe does something subtle but powerful: it eliminates the low-grade decision fatigue of wondering whether your pieces “go together” and projects a unified visual identity that reads as intentional and authoritative. A 2014 study in Color Research & Application found that wearing red increased feelings of confidence and attractiveness. But here’s the insight that matters more than the specific color: coherence increases confidence. An all-cream look, a full tonal navy, head-to-toe espresso — the monochrome signals to your own brain: I thought about this, I’m deliberate, and I’m in control. Try it for a day and notice how it changes not just how others respond to you, but how you feel moving through your own life.

5. Get Dressed on Purpose — Even When No One Will See You

The act of intentionally choosing what to wear is a psychological ritual that signals to your brain that the day has started. Professor Karen Pine’s research found that choosing uplifting clothes, even on a day you’re not leaving the house, can help shift a low mood. And here’s the flip side that’s equally important: staying in pajamas makes your brain read it as rest mode. You’re not just comfortable, you’re cognitively downshifted. I’m not saying wear a blazer to make coffee. I’m saying put something on that makes you feel like you, and you may feel a lot more confident in your Zoom meetings.

6. Scent: The Invisible Clothing

In previous studies, 65% of women surveyed reported feeling more confident when they wore perfume. Wearing a scent doesn't just change how others perceive you, it changes how you carry yourself. Perfume works like enclothed cognition for your nose. When you spray something that makes you feel powerful, your body language follows. You fidget less and stand differently.

In a study by Higuchi et al. (2005), video observers rated women wearing perfume as more confident, and video analysis confirmed that there were fewer anxious behaviors — such as face touching and fidgeting — when the women wore fragrance. Here’s the fascinating part: when men wore a scented deodorant and were videotaped introducing themselves, women (who couldn’t smell anything) rated them as more attractive on muted video. The confidence the scent gave the wearer changed their body language enough to be visible on screen.

So if you have a favorite scent, wear it when you need a little confidence boost.

What NOT To Wear

Women are much more likely than men to wear painful, distracting, or restricting clothing. And if you spend the day tugging, adjusting, or sucking in, your clothing is stealing your cognitive resources. Every time you pull down a hem, adjust a strap, or check whether something is riding up, you’re redirecting brainpower away from the meeting, the conversation, or the idea toward managing your appearance. The research calls it self-objectification.

So don’t choose ill-fitting, too tight or too lose, or any clothes that are going to make you feel self conscious. Your confidence level will tank, and nobody needs that. Remember that you should wear the clothes - and not the clothes wearing you.

None of these are about performing confidence for other people. That’s a different conversation — and it’s one we’ll have soon, because how women are perceived based on how we have to present externally, and the double standards that come with that, deserves its own space.

Today is about the inside job. Confidence isn’t something you either have or you don’t. It’s something you practice every day. Fashion can be a powerful thing. Use it to your advantage.

Sending love,

Patricia

Spring has sprung (this week, at least!). I don’t think I could have taken another week of snow, and in honor of warmer weather, I selected 31 incredible pieces to refresh your wardrobe. Clothing, jewelry, shoes, bags, scarves… And the beauty of these items is that they can be mixed together in dozens of outfit options, and I’m sure most of them would work with your existing wardrobe.

But before we get to them (6 beautiful boards below), I have a special invite to share. My dad and grandfather suffered from dementia, and staying informed of the latest research, applying strategies for my current life to reduce cognitive decline, and helping those affected by supporting organizations that are advancing brain health is very important to me.

I am proud to celebrate organizations like CaringKind, a trusted partner in brain health, supporting families and individuals impacted by Alzheimer’s and related dementia.

So I’m so honored to have been selected to join 100 WOMEN OF IMPACT, a national movement of women leaders committed to shaping the future of brain health and well-being. Guided by shared purpose and compassion, we champion research that confirms Alzheimer’s and related dementia risk can be significantly reduced by up to 40%.

Convened by CaringKind, the movement brings together women leaders across sectors who understand that leadership carries a shared responsibility, advocacy and sustained action. It all starts with a conversation.

Please join me alongside my co-host’s and fellow Women Of Impact Meredith Burns, Melissa Breitbart, Jan Planit, and Amber Rae on Friday, March 27th from 12:30–2:30 PM at Veronica Beard in Southampton.

Join the conversation and learn more about what you can do to advance women’s brain health, shop with purpose and become part of an inspiring community of female leaders. Hope to see you there!

RSVP: SOUTHAMPTONRSVP@VERONICABEARD.COM

Now on to our Spring edit below, hope you love it! Sending love,

Patricia

Read more

Hi there,

Every March 8th, the internet fills up with support for women. Brands that have never once considered the women in their supply chains suddenly find their feminist awakening. People proclaiming their outrage for the status quo, while only promoting men to higher positions. Companies launching philanthropic campaigns, collaborations with high profile women who lend them credibility, only to go back to business as usual in April. I’m tired of watching performance replace action in a moment when women can’t afford it. But it looks great on Instagram, doesn’t it?

I’m supportive of International Women’s Day, but I’d show up on a random Tuesday in October too because that’s what this work actually requires.

Matriark was built in 2019 on a single conviction: that supporting women is a given daily practice, not a marketing strategy. It’s the brands you choose, the businesses you recommend, the organizations you fund, and the women you champion in your own orbit every single day of the year, not just when there’s a hashtag for it.

When a woman’s business thrives, she hires other women, she funds her kids’ education, she donates to her community. Money in the hands of women doesn’t stay still, it moves, and it multiplies.

But women are still earning 84 cents for each dollar a man makes, the same relative wages as they were in 2002 (and, of course, the numbers are worse for women of color). At the current rate, it’ll take a whopping 48 years to reach parity in C-suite leadership. 42% of women face discrimination at work. 137 women and girls are killed every single day (60% by intimate partners or family). The data is damning.

So, as I always do, I’m sharing my favorite products from a very special list of 18 clothing, accessories and home decor brands from all over the world as my own way to change things within my reach, and a list of 25 organizations that are actually moving the needle for real women and girls. Use this list today, use it in June, use it on a Tuesday in October.

We’ve made a lot of strides, but there is still a lot to do, so let’s get to work. Happy Women’s History Month!

Sending love,

Patricia

17 of my favorite products and 1 place from amazing independent brands

Women-made, women-owned, women-powered.

1. Broyt is brand started by Eve Singer, featuring vintage finds. I love these tortoise shell French hair pins, modern and nostalgic at the same time. Through Broyt, Eve also creates meaningful gatherings, plans events and offers tableware rentals from her shop.

2. A tailored yet relaxed jacket by the brand Ossou, Co-Founded by Nina Khosla (founder of Fforme) and Talia Shuvalov (founder of Erede). “Ossou" is derived from the word "bone," symbolizing a foundational approach to wardrobe essentials. You’ll find many wardrobe staples at Ossou, but always with a modern twist.

3. Kiwi designer Jessica McCormack started designing jewelry to reinvigorate some of the antique jewelry making techniques that she had discovered while working at the jewelry department at Sotheby’s. Her pieces are instant heirlooms, and absolutely gorgeous. These Button Back diamond necklace and bracelet are a dream. Watch this fun video about her and her company.

4. A timeless and chic strapless organic cotton dress by Danish designer Malene Birger, whose creations reflect a sophisticated Scandinavian minimalism and luxurious utility.

5. I love too many items at TWP, but I’ve been looking for a soft denim trouser for a long time, and this cotton-linen piece is perfect. TWP stands for Trish Wescoat Pound, who blends the utilitarian spirit of the American Midwest with a metropolitan sensibility. Working with her daughter Jillian, a stylist, Trish designs clothes that are stylish, modern, wearable and timeless.

6. This is a remarkable 1850’s one-of-a-kind corset available at Desert Vintage, a shop that called Tucson's iconic 4th Avenue home since 1974, offering a carefully selected collection of unique vintage and antique pieces for both men and women. Since Salima Boufelfel and Roberto Cowan took the helm in 2012, the shop has built a loyal following by blending timeless finds with a modern sensibility, making one-of-a-kind style accessible and wearable for everyone. Run, don’t walk!

7. Australian Designer Danielle Milojevic designs pieces that allow individuality to radiate through, and this fun T-shirt from her brand Antipodean is a great example.

8. Love this long glamorous dress by Aflalo, which also comes in black if you are feeling less adventurous. Designer Yael Aflalo is also the Founder of Reformation.

9. Very affordable and cool eyewear, with a great mix of sunglasses too. Stock for for summer! The models wear the Jane and the Dakota. Designer Elisa Johnson founded her eponymous brand in May 2021. Elisa studied fashion in New York City, and noticed a lack of options in the market for eyewear, and the small number of Black owned brands. Her pieces have the craftsmanship and elevated designs of luxury brands, at a far more accessible price point.

10. Wales Boner Julien Slipper is a modern version of the ballerina, with a higher vamp and a feminine lace with metal tip. In addition to designing for her own line, Grace Wales Bonner has been appointed as the new Creative Director of Menswear at Hermès.

11. 2025 CFDA/Vogue Fashion Fund Winner Ashlynn Park’s peplum blouse is super feminine and yet so modern, the perfect piece for warmer weather.

12. Zero Maria Cornejo has been on the forefront of sustainable fashion for years, and I love her organic cotton Takeo Pant. We sold this in our store in Sag Harbor, and the fit was amazing.

13. A gorgeous embroidered placemat that you can add initials to. You can tell Oeuvres Sensibles has a creative, free, and artistic hand, all because of its Founder Sarah Espeute, who strives to restore value to objects through artisanal work, encouraging a new way of looking at design.

14. Anima Mundi has so many incredible concoctions, but her Collagen Booster Powder is my favorite.

15. A beautiful set of 4 dessert silver shell-bowl spoons, adding more sparkle and personality to your table. Les Objoies is a Paris-based brand dedicated to celebrating the emotional connection we share with objects. Founder Océane Buret sources pieces from all over France, Italy, and beyond.

16. A. 4 in 1 candle accessory, it works as a snuffer, a burnt wick + mushroom trimmer, a wet wax rescue spoon, and a smokeless wick dipper. If you burn candles often, you will know this is a life saver. Check the videos of its functions here (scroll down the page to see). Swand’s Founder Susan Nichols (who is also an inventor of yogitoes® designed a candle care tool that was both functional and worthy of her altar or her coffee table.

17. Well designed headboards are hard to come by, and custom pieces can be a small fortune. I love this company because they have a few ready to sell items, but can also do custom pieces that are actually chic and beautiful. My favorite shape is the Provence (pictured here), but there are 3 more options, each coming in 7 different sizes. Ylse Atelier is based in Sweden - their skilled upholsterers work in their own atelier in Frihamnen, Stockholm, and they operate with an all-women team. Daniella Peri (CEO) and Mikaela Rosén started the brand in late 2023 and want to make it easy to customize a beautiful bedroom.

I love when a space takes on different personalities. Maison Welles is a cultural home in Greenwich Village, encompassing a café, champagne lounge, and retail space. But the space vocation is is much bigger than that: Founder Ana McNeill built this space for creators and thinkers, and designed for conversation, creativity, and celebration.

25 great organizations to support and donate

Your dollars can fund legal battles, shelters, microloans, job training, and advocacy that changes laws. If you can give even anything, give it here.

All Against Abuse

Asian American Feminist Collective

Black Girls Code

Center for Reproductive Rights

Days for Girls International

Educate Girls Globally

Every Mother Counts

Girls Inc.

Girls Not Brides

Global Fund for Women

Gloria’s Foundation

Madre

Malala Fund

Ms. Foundation for Women

Outright International

National Indigenous Women’s Resource Center

Planned Parenthood

Shared Hope International

The Family Equality Council

The Loveland Foundation

The Trevor Project

Together Rising

Vital Voices

Women’s Alzheimer’s Movement

Women for Women International

Hi there,

When my children were small, their teachers had a ritual I loved: sending them outside to hunt for signs of spring. They’d come back with photos of a green sprout, a brave little bud, or a bird flying.

I find myself wanting to do the same thing this week, but… February. There is still snow outside my door from a storm that arrived four weeks ago and never quite left.

What I have, in the meantime, are my hellebores. Helleborus. Winter rose. The only flower with enough nerve to bloom when everything else has given up entirely.

Some of mine are buried under that snow right now, alive (I hope), and plotting their return. Others have come inside, and are currently living on my kitchen counter, waiting for parole. They are jade and cream and the palest buttery yellow, and every morning when I walk past them, I think: soon.

This week’s newsletter is my version of the spring hunt. Nine pieces I am coveting in the colors of my hellebores — jade, butter, white. Cool and hopeful and quietly alive.

Scroll down to shop my signs of spring, I hope they inspire you too. 🌿

Sending love,

Patricia

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Hi there,

Parties don’t hold the same allure they once did. We’re drinking less (thank goodness), taking better care of ourselves, and fiercely protecting our sleep. Club culture is essentially dead, and most of us are no longer Studio 54 types. We’re day beings now, which makes throwing a proper party after 6 pm a tall order.

And yet, this time of year, the pressure intensifies with all the holiday festivities. When the invitations roll in, it’s a mixed bag of 3 types of parties: have to go, can’t wait to attend, or immediately no (which are very rare for me, but a party after 10pm at a club is definitely one of them!).

Ideally (to me, at least), a party I can’t wait to attend has the right mix of lovely people who add fun, depth, wit, and just enough drama to make you forget to check your phone. Bonus if they have drinks that don’t run out, healthy food that’s actually tasty, and music that understands the assignment, but all forgiven if the guests more than make up for any lackluster food-and-beverage details.

Reality, however, often looks like this: it’s cold and dark at 4:30pm, and although it would normally take a miracle to get us out the door after sunset (let alone to stay out past 9 pm), we begrudgingly get ready and finally leave the house. To your husband’s company holiday party, where an employee treated the open bar as a personal challenge before choosing you to confess all her sins. To the Secret Santa party with your neighbors, who have clearly mastered the art of re-gifting, and some you wish lived farther away. To your boss’s impeccable house, styled with expensive white furniture, making you skip the red wine and sit through your co-workers bad jokes sober.

We’d do anything to skip these parties. But these fall squarely under the “have to go” category, so we do it because we’re supportive and emotionally generous people. Or because our livelihood sort of depends on it. We show up. We smile. We do the thing.

So, today I’m sharing my favorite 11 dresses that look glamorous but never fussy: dresses you can walk, sit, dance in, and wear more than once without regret.

Dresses that carry you through awkward conversations (and out the door by 9) with equal ease.

So go, support, laugh, learn and hydrate.
Hold your boundaries and leave when you’re ready, which for me, it’s sooner rather than later. Even when I can’t wait to attend.

Enjoy the edit and party on! Sending love,

Patricia

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This year my wishlist took an unexpected turn. While I was making my personal wishlist to give my husband, one site kept coming up again and again. And before I knew it, the entire website quietly took over my list.

This is not sponsored. It’s just me being genuinely impressed by a platform that made resale feel more special. Everyone offers resale now (which is a good thing!), but so much of it feels like a sea of sameness, and always focused on the usual suspects: Birkins, Kellys, and Chanel bags and jackets.

Don’t get me wrong: I love them all. But at this point everything is becoming a little generic.

This is where this place feels different. It’s more like a well edited archive. Yes, they have the “usual suspects”, but they also have special, unusual pieces (like incredible Hermès bags that I never saw before) that don’t scream status so much as they whisper taste and style. It’s full of things you don’t see everywhere. Things that feel chosen, and not accumulated.

Sure, we could track some of these down across the far corners of the internet if you had ten open tabs and a questionable sleep schedule (guilty as charged 🙋‍♀️).
Or… you could let someone else do the sifting for you, and that they do!

Below are my favorite finds. I designed 5 boards with tabletop, objects, jewelry, and very special canvas and leather bags (comprised mostly of Hermès - many of which are way more “affordable” than I ever thought they would be). These are the kinds of pieces that would make stylish people like you salivate, so have fun and happy shopping!

Sending love,

Patricia

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Hi there,

As much as I love getting dressed up now and then, my favorite part of the holidays is Christmas Day itself. We wake up with the kids, stay in our pajamas, drink endless coffee by the fire, and open gifts at an unhurried pace. We eat late, walk the dogs if the weather allows, “burn off” a little of our Christmas dinner, and usually circle back for—can you guess?—more coffee.

Coziness is the entire point of the day. And it’s perfection.

So today’s edit is all about ease and warmth. Whether you’re staying in, hosting, heading to your parents’, or making the rounds with in-laws, I’ve designed 3 boards with beautiful pieces (some even a little glamorous) that don’t sacrifice the true spirit of the day: comfort. 99% of them are totally timeless, and can be worn for any other cozy occasion (even if you don’t celebrate Christmas 😉).

And yes, they make excellent gifts too. The kind of one for you, one for me shopping I fully support around here.

Curl up, browse slowly, and enjoy! ✨

Sending love,

Patricia

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Hi there,

I’ve always loved a good gift guide—those glossy, beautifully curated lists that promise to solve all our holiday dilemmas. But overtime, somehow we got flooded with them, and the magic has started to fade. The specialness has been… diluted.

So this year, I decided to do something different. I gathered all the good gift guides, and hand-picked the very best. Then I went one layer deeper and curated my single favorite item from each one (OK, sometimes I chose more than 1, but who’s counting 😊). Consider this the Mother of All Gift Guides: I did the sifting, selecting, and sanity-saving so you don’t have to.

No personality types, no “for the foodie / for the traveler / for the plant lover.” Just a collection of what I truly believe is unique, beautiful, and/or genuinely useful, solid gifts for everyone on your list.

I hope this edit helps you navigate the holiday gifting season with ease, and gives you back something far more precious than another link to click: more time with the people you love. Enjoy!

Love,

Patricia

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Hi there,

To me, the word jeweler feels reductive when describing Silvia Furmanovich. She is a poet, a storyteller, a translator of worlds. She travels without a fixed plan, following intuition and synchronicity the way some people follow maps. Along the way, she collects inspiration and transforms them into extraordinary works of art that belong as much on the body as they do in a museum. Through her imagination, centuries-old crafts find new form: marquetry from the Amazon become topaz and ruby clutches and malachite scarab bracelets, lacquer from Japan comes to life in wood earrings, and miniature tapestries (so small that artisans had to invent three-centimeter looms) adorn exquisite aquamarine cuffs.

Silvia doesn’t just design jewelry, she gives material shape to the invisible threads that connect people, places, and traditions. Her new book with Rizzoli, Journey of a Jeweler, captures that creative alchemy. Structured like a travel diary, its seven chapters unfold like pages of her sketchbook, filled with notes, textures, and memories gathered from Amazonian forests, Japanese temples, and Indian palaces.

The result is part autobiography, part love letter to craftsmanship, and wholly Silvia: free-spirited, meticulous, and full of wonder.

I had the pleasure of being at Rizzoli last Monday to watch Town & Country Editor in Chief and ELLE Decor Editorial and Brand Director Stellene Volandez chat with Silvia (Stellene also wrote the Foreword) , and it was very inspiring to hear Silvia share how she moves through life and creativity. Her book is gorgeous and a wonderful portal into her process, and it’s also a perfect gift for this holiday season.

Below, she shares ten of her favorite things in the world — glimpses into the eye and heart of an artist whose true medium is curiosity itself.

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Hi there,

I don’t know what’s happening to me, but I am into fashion again. For a while I have been a little numb, bored and disinterested. Maybe I was relishing a fashion break after closing my store, maybe it was just the market, but I haven’t been inspired at all. And shoes were the least interesting of them all - I have been living in sneakers forever (and do not foresee a big change any time soon), and felt the styles were not that compelling for the price.

But this fall changed everything. The silhouettes are flattering (I’m tired of the ugly shoes!), we see more variety in heels, and there are more amazing boots than I could possible buy. I’ve been scrolling, saving, and trying on nonstop, so I decided to focus this week’s newsletter on shoes only (no sneakers in sight, though. We all have enough of them, and know where to find more. (The only new pairs I got this season were these Salomons and these Dries van Noten).

I gathered my favorites into one fun chart so you can skip the overwhelm and get straight to the good stuff. For each silhouette (Ankle Boots, Knee Boots, Loafers, High Heels, Kitten Heels, Slingback, and flats) you will find a Casual, Dressy, Basic and even a Winter Option, and some of them were on sale (bonus!). Dig in, and have fun!

Sending love,

Patricia

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Before I start, and apropos to this newsletter, if you are in the Hamptons this Friday, Saturday and Sunday, please go see my friend Ashley Himmel's pop up at Love Binetti in Sag Harbor (17 Washington Street). Ashley, who worked for Ralph Lauren, is a self-taught photographer with an incredible eye. She just launched a beautiful collection of sweaters (I am getting the Big Cable Sweater). Lee Berzack, Founder of Pantoffel, will be there too with her cozy sheepskin slippers (one of my picks below).

Last weekend, before dinner at Il Buco al Mare in Amagansett, I wandered into their well-curated shop, discovered the brand Autumn Sonata, and almost missed my reservation because I was too busy rummaging through their pieces.

I especially loved their chocolate brown bathrobe, not necessarily a color I usually buy, and I couldn’t figure out why I was so drawn to it. I had dinner, forgot all about it, and moved on with my week.

Then yesterday, I hosted the Transformative Breathwork session with Cathy O’Brien from Naturopathica and Céline Antoine, and let me tell you: it was incredible. Truly transformative.

I felt a warmth and safety, and a kind of love that was nourishing and uplifting. I found clarity on the intentions I set at the start of the session, and Céline reminded us to think with our hearts as much as with our heads. (If you ever have the chance to do a session with her, please do yourself a favor and book it!).

We had a full house, and from the feedback, it seems she touched everyone in the room.). I left the session wanting to hold on to those feelings, and the chocolate color bathrobe came to my mind.

Clothes seems so trivial, but I realized I loved that robe so much not just because chocolate browns are having a fashion moment, but because of what they convey: coziness, nostalgia, and a sweet sense of security we all need right now.

So, I went down the internet rabbit hole and found a few pieces that may help me keep that cocoon feeling from Céline’s session. This week’s quick edit is a love letter to comfort, and a warm hug from me to you in hopes we all can stay grounded and feel safe in these crazy times. I hope they help you too.

Sending love 🤎

Patricia

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I can’t believe August is (almost) here! I’m so excited to resume our events, here is our programming before we get to this week’s newsletter:

Save the Date: August 20^th – Matriark, The Pop Up Season and The LongHouse Reserve will host a special Salon with Hall Rockefeller, Founder of Less Than Half.

Save the Date: August 26^th – Matriark, Naturopathica and Blair Borthwick will host a Conversation and a Breathwork session with Yoga Teacher and Certified Breathwork Guide Celine Antoine at The Topping Rose House.

Invitations will be offered first to our paid subscribers. If space allows, we’ll open them to our broader community. To receive priority access in the future, we invite you to become a paid subscriber.

Fresh out of the oven: Episode 6 of Wealthy The Podcast is out with Stacy London! You know her from What Not to Wear, her new show Wear Whatever the F You Want, and her menopause advocacy. but this conversation goes way beyond fashion and menopause. We talked about everything — the evolving impact of AI on all of us (especially women in midlife), her incredible career journey with all its highs and challenges, money, therapy, Ayahuasca, and so much more. Don’t miss this!

🎧 Available now on Apple, Spotify, and Youtube
💌 Full audio, video and + weekly episodes for Paid Subscribers in our Podcast page

OK, onto our regular programming!

I'm excited for you to listen to Stacy London in our podcast. Stacy has done so much for women, and I especially love how not only how she’s evolved her TV show, but how she seems to be living in alignment with her values, staying true to herself while continuing to serve women of all ages.

Speaking of style… I’ve been shopping my way through Tokyo, and I’m sharing my favorite picks from a well edited multibrand store I stumbled on this week in a neighboring building next to Takashimaya in Shibuya. The shop was full of beautiful pieces from designers I’d never heard of, and I wanted to buy everything.

I knew this already, but spending this much time here makes it very obvious: Japanese women have such a different point of view when it comes to dressing. Day to day, their style tends to be modern but more modest. If they wear a tank dress, there is a t-shirt underneath it, for example. There isn’t a lot of flash or bling. Everything is more muted, dainty, and discreet. Younger women are for sure more daring, and they don’t skimp on mini-skirts, creative makeup, and color contact lenses.

But the wild hair color seems to be a favorite across generations! Icy blues, cotton-candy pinks, platinum blondes, and everything in between, on men and women of all ages. Anime clearly has a big influence, and that’s fun and inspiring. There is a hair salon on every corner, but that’s a topic for another newsletter.

I love how women here style masculine and feminine clothes and accessories so well, which is how I like to dress. Suits with ruffly feminine bags, lace blouses with trousers and sneakers, cute mini dresses with chunky platform boots (yes even in the summer). I’m having a hard time NOT shopping.

In the end, like Stacy talks about in her show and in our podcast, having style isn’t about money nor trends nor body type — it’s about finding who you are in this moment. It’s about finding pieces that bring you joy, that makes you feel good in your own skin.

Scroll for my picks from Tokyo (there will be more for sure), and thanks for reading — and don’t forget to listen to this week’s episode with Stacy.

With love (and way too many shopping bags),

Patricia

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Tristan Harris

Ellevest and Sallie Krawcheck

Clinton Kelly

Lindsay Taylor Wood- The Helm

Female Founder Collective

Goldie Hawn

Reshma Saujani

Substack

Wear Whatever the F You Want

QVC

Here is the Full Episode VIDEO:

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Here is the Full Episode VIDEO:

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A few notes before we start:

🎙️ WEALTHY The Matriark Podcast launches June 26th, next Thursday, and our first guest is Hall Rockefeller, Founder of Less Than Half. Watch a quick clip here of Hall talking about the biggest faux pas an art collector can make, and stay tuned for our very first episode!

The full video of our amazing Menopause Salon with Wave Wellness is available now in our Salon page to paid subscribers. We are sending an email to all attendees with the great resources mentioned during our Salon.

Susan Sandler and I just hosted another inspiring Salon with Suzanne Tick and her stories were incredible. Besides being an accomplished artist, Suzanne’s grit and determination are truly astonishing. Video for paid subscribers is coming soon, you won’t want to miss this!

I will be on a plane heading to Japan when you receive this newsletter, so we are taking a little break from the Salons until I return, but Save the Day for AUGUST 20th, announcements to come soon! I will share Japan-related content on a special diary here on Substack, so keep checking there for photos, videos and resources.

OK, onto our regular programming. In this newsletter, you’ll read about Juneteenth, get list of companies with a strong edit of Black-Owned brands, and shop some of my favorite black-Owned products. Enjoy!

June 19, 1865.
The day the last enslaved Black Americans were finally told they were free, two and a half years after the Emancipation Proclamation. Juneteenth is a celebration of the end of slavery in the United States, a day to reflect on freedom and resilience. But it’s also a a solemn reminder of everything that was stolen: lives, time, names, and futures.

Before they were ripped from their communities and sold as property, enslaved people were just… people. Mothers. Fathers. Kids. Grandparents. They were artisans, farmers, merchants, healers, minding their own business and living full lives before they were taken, forced to work under violent, dehumanizing conditions for someone else’s gain.

Imagine being a mother and having your child sold at auction and taken from your arms, not knowing where they are going, and never seeing them again because someone decided your family’s pain was profitable. Imagine being that child. That happened. Over and over again.

Non-Black people can’t fully understand the grief they’ve experienced then, and their trauma, pain and heartbreak that echo through generations until today. But as human beings, we can feel empathy and solidarity, and be moved to do something because we actually believe in community, connection, and humanity.

The truth is: the challenges Black people endured didn’t end in 1865. As Nikole Hannah-Jones once said, “We are not free until we have full economic, political, and social citizenship. Emancipation was the start, not the end”.

Just one example of what’s still happening today: Black entrepreneurs face steeper challenges getting loans. The Federal Reserve Banks' 2023 survey found that 41% of Black business owners were denied a loan, compared to 18% of white business owners. And when Black founders do get funding, they’re often charged interest rates that are, on average, 22% higher.

When we support them, we’re not just buying a product, we’re honoring and celebrating their work and their ability to survive and thrive in this crazy world that was built against them.

If you aren’t sure where to start, companies like Moda Operandi, Sephora, Target, Nordstrom, Walmart, Macy’s, Ulta, Bloomingdale’s and many more now feature Black-owned and founded brands thanks to efforts like the 15% Pledge. Forbes Magazine listed great ones in this article as well.

I’ve shared a fabulous edit here last year, and those brands continue to produce amazing things, so check them out. I added more below, so next time you shop, make it count. All of these resources will give you tons of options to buy from every day, not just in Juneteenth.

Sending love,

Patricia

Favorite products from a few Black Owned brands I love:

1. Harbison Siren Flora Top and Siren Midi Skirt

2. Ten Thousand Things Aquamarine Cast Line Pendant Necklace

3. Jade Swim Yana Dress

4. LaQuan Smith Puma Collab Sweatpants and Sneakers

5. Sanctuaire Open Door Club Scented Candle

6. Buttah Skin Facial Shea Butter Moisturizer

7. Brother Vellies Bamboo Sac

Enjoy!

Summer travel is calling, and I’m dreaming of my upcoming summer family trip (a lot more on this later!). But I’ve also been dreading one thing: packing for the heat. I’m not a light packer (never have been), and to make things harder, I usually prefer separates over dresses, which means more bulk and more decisions. But with rainforest-level humidity, city sidewalks that radiate like stovetops, and suitcases that have to serve my whole family, I’ve officially become a woman on a mission: I must find the perfect hot-weather dresses that are lightweight, chic, and make me actually want to ditch my separates, leaving more room for the inevitable shopping and souvenirs I’ll be bringing back (not to mention lower my mental load every morning as I try to decode what I packed).

I’m talking all-day, city-to-resort easy dresses. Pieces you can sweat in, stroll in, stuff in a carry-on, and wash in a hotel sink without looking like you’ve given up. Bonus points if they don’t wrinkle like an origami project. I’ve always loved cotton gauze, and would buy most of my dresses in that fabric, but I have to say: after scouring the internet (and believe me, I am a professional scourer!), there are very few cotton gauze dresses out there (if any) that are worthy of the word fashion with a capital F. There is a huge market gap for real fashion cotton gauze dresses, and designers who really care about women (especially the ones in midlife who usually run hot…) should be addressing this! Please come up with better options in this miracle fabric, and I promise you that you’ll make tons of money. But I digress…

I opened up my search to expand to other fabrics, and looked for dresses that were breathable, washable, packable, and somehow still give that elusive “I just threw this on and I feel fresh and stylish” even when you're secretly melting. Scroll down for the full edit : I prepared 5 mood boards that go from shirt, column & straight, long & flowy, feminine & tailored, and knit dresses for a total of 35 fabulous options. Now I have solid options for my trip and will hopefully pack lightly.

Speaking of fashion and style, don’t forget to mark your calendar: on May 22nd, Susan Sandler and I are hosting our Salon series in East Hampton with stylist and entrepreneur Jessie Freschl. We’ll dive into style, entrepreneurship, body image, and how to get dressed in a way that actually feels good. It’s the Thursday before Memorial Day weekend, the perfect moment to pause, connect, and get inspired before the summer chaos sets in. RSVP at rsvp@matriark.com (details below). More events are coming, and we are doing another fun giveaway for our Founding Members, so make sure you upgrade to paid subscription to secure an invitation.

Alright, onto the edit. Remember that we deserve to show up for ourselves, feel good, and wear something fabulous even when we’re sweating, planning, and juggling everyone else’s needs. Now if only I could figure out my shoes, what to do with my frizzy hair once the humidity hits 95%…

Sending love,

Patricia

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